Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Another day

Do you ever feel lost or misplaced? Not lost in a scary panic sort of way but in a way that makes you internally sad or confused about who you are?

I have a tendency to always get ahead of myself in the way I think about things. I often run away in my mind w/my ambitions. It sounds silly (gulp) but I want to change the world. I want to be the person I feel like I am inside. I want to be sketch, b/c I'm comfortable that way. I want to read books for fun, and smoke cigarettes and not think about my lungs. I want to be spontaneous and say whatever I want whenever I want. I want to eat my dinner at 10:00 pm b/c thats when I'm hungry and I want to go to bed at 3 am every night. BUT I dont and more importantly we DONT as conformists. UGH I want to join greenpeace and wear save the animal t-shirts and join the peace corp after I graduate BUT my father wont let me.
Instead, although it is important, Im here at my desk, working on I.S. and some other bullshit reading that will be insignificant 1 year from now. sigh.

Sorry about the rambling, I think I'm coming down w/ a slight case of cabin fever being at Woo. I'm sure it will pass. sigh again.

current mood - philisophical


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Blogger kate said...

I feel exactly the same way, Crystal. Let's break free together! Or just go to Seattles and get some coffee sometime :)

11:18 PM  

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