Thursday, November 17, 2005

Restless

Well, lets see.

I just walked into my room after having to visit Brian's grandparents (they had a piece of my mail and I also promised the granps I'd stop by). For some reason after I left their house thankfully located only a few miles from the college I proceeded to drive around for a good 20 mins. I have no idea why. I just sort of drifted off into my own little world and thought about break coming up, the work I had to do tonight and EVERYTHING else.

I don't know about anyone else, but lately I've been feeling very restless with my life here. Its not my friends, or my room (I love them both DEARLY). While this is going to sound really cliche, I feel like maybe I'm just growing out of everything I used to be so into around these parts. While I do still like getting wasted with the girls and chatting and living with all my besties, I want to leave this city so bad. I want to break free from this hell of I.S. and routine that consumes my every day.

Its terrible. I sound like such a cynic I know. Ok, now I know what most of you are thinking. I could just hear it now. eh em..."Crystal you feel like this because Brian isn't here." NOT TRUE. While a part of me does wish SO BAD that Brian was here w/ me, I want to leave for other reasons, one being that my Mom is deathly ill. Ugh I just wish I could be home w/ her everyday to make sure she was taken care of. Its a constant stressor. I never lead on about it too much around the girls b/c how do you talk about something like that? I can just picture it :

"Hey look at that guys pants, hes such a tool"
"haha yeah, Oh by the way my mom might have Thyroid cancer."

Silence.

ANYWAY, I'm starting to feel uncomfortable now just mentioning it. So I'll stop.

On a positive note, its Thanksgiving dinner in Lowry tonight, yay! Maybe that will aid my restlessness.

current mood - UGH Women's studies class.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Sweet November

One word.

LEAVES.

As I was sketching in my car today in beautiful Hudson, OH I felt like I was in my favorite disney movie, Alice in Wonderland. The wind was absolutely insane and more times than I would care to write about, leaves were blowing all around my signature Honda (with a snazzy red stripe of course). While fall is my favorite season, I was having one of "those days."
You know....when you don't feel like putting on real clothes hello ugly sweatshirt and black dance pants from 10th grade and all you really feel like doing is listening to Dashboard Confessional and crying your eyes out? UGH Its the sunday blues I think.
While I have countless asignments to attend to, and the GRE's to think about (coming up on Thurs.) I am actually quite happy amongst all the trauma that seems to be my home life these days. My mom is getting worse in terms of her illness, and my dad HATES his new job. Every time we talk on the phone, my eyes fill w/ tears. He just sounds so unhappy.
While I would like to help, I know most things in life are out of our control. I get to see Brian this weekend though, which makes me grin just thinking about driving up the annoying 6 hrs. to see him. He is so worth it.

Since this is the most random post ever, I will also add, yay for Friday night! oww OWW Justine and Eliz. (my two favs and crowned champions of fun that night). While I thought I had the reign of being beer bong champion after C-Holmes, apparently, my lil sis has beat me to the punch. ALSO, sorry to any of you that saw or talked to me Friday night. I honestly have no idea how I made it home alive. What I do know, however is that I had an empty wrapper from a tofu pocket sandwich on my floor the next morning. Oh, life.

current mood - tomorrow's Monday, yayyyyyyy (sarcasm)

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

I will never forget

So I decided to devote this post to my long lost friends - Ode to the Bontrager girls (and Courtney & Noel of course eh em). While friends come and go, I feel as though there are some that I will always hold close to my heart. Many memories....
- stealing Court's video cam w/ Kate to tape sketch movies of us that were only funny to US.
- Trying to hook Al up w/ Nick's roommate, HAHA.
- Our freshman year dance parties (never forget the pretzels...OH and the time we went to dinner and Em brought home those sketch cheesy chips, that we ate when we were drunk of course).
- **Special to my heart - When Nick and I broke up and all of you dragged me out of bed with cards and drove me to Canton for dinner, even though it was snowing :)
- Kate and I smoking in her car, and SKETCHING on Monday nights w/ beers in my car. "Yo, yo, I gotta go, but I love you all!!"
- You got served
- Reds nights - Wild VINES
- Barbeques last year when it was still nice and sunny out.
- Finney and I regulating at that one AGP party. We are such bitches.
- Megan and I always talking about sex (and the vivid details) when we're wasted. (and dancing all over each other of couse)

There are SO many.

As graduation comes close (I do realize its still awhile away) I want you girls to know that I love you. I know I dont come by enough, or play enough, b/c as you know I'm a sketchball at heart. HOWEVER, I am who I am partly b/c of you.

Sniff.

current mood - living in the past and trying to get rid of this damn headache. WORK vicodin.