Thursday, November 17, 2005

Restless

Well, lets see.

I just walked into my room after having to visit Brian's grandparents (they had a piece of my mail and I also promised the granps I'd stop by). For some reason after I left their house thankfully located only a few miles from the college I proceeded to drive around for a good 20 mins. I have no idea why. I just sort of drifted off into my own little world and thought about break coming up, the work I had to do tonight and EVERYTHING else.

I don't know about anyone else, but lately I've been feeling very restless with my life here. Its not my friends, or my room (I love them both DEARLY). While this is going to sound really cliche, I feel like maybe I'm just growing out of everything I used to be so into around these parts. While I do still like getting wasted with the girls and chatting and living with all my besties, I want to leave this city so bad. I want to break free from this hell of I.S. and routine that consumes my every day.

Its terrible. I sound like such a cynic I know. Ok, now I know what most of you are thinking. I could just hear it now. eh em..."Crystal you feel like this because Brian isn't here." NOT TRUE. While a part of me does wish SO BAD that Brian was here w/ me, I want to leave for other reasons, one being that my Mom is deathly ill. Ugh I just wish I could be home w/ her everyday to make sure she was taken care of. Its a constant stressor. I never lead on about it too much around the girls b/c how do you talk about something like that? I can just picture it :

"Hey look at that guys pants, hes such a tool"
"haha yeah, Oh by the way my mom might have Thyroid cancer."

Silence.

ANYWAY, I'm starting to feel uncomfortable now just mentioning it. So I'll stop.

On a positive note, its Thanksgiving dinner in Lowry tonight, yay! Maybe that will aid my restlessness.

current mood - UGH Women's studies class.

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